Active listening
How many times have you been in a conversation when you think you've been paying attention but when asked to repeat what was just said, you've only been able to splutter out "Sorry, what?"
Good listening is an art. It's not just about looking interested, it's about truly absorbing what's being said. As a mentor, you might be talking to someone about a topic they've never opened up about before; you might be talking to someone who talks around a topic so that they don't have to ever speak about the heart of their problem.
Active listening focuses attention on the speaker. Mentors can use active listening techniques to really listen for the meaning of what's being said. It's important to give the right responses and prompts in order to build the speaker's confidence in you as a supportive aid.
The six main active listening techniques are listed below. Print out this page and try out a different technique in your conversations over the next week. Make a note of any changes you notice in people's responses.
| Type | Purpose | To do this... | Examples |
| Encouraging |
1) To show interest 2) To keep the other person talking |
Don't agree or disagree
Use neutral words Vary voice intonation |
Can you go on?
I see I understand Good point! |
| Clarifying |
1) To help clarify what was said 2) To gain information |
Ask questions
Get the speaker to explain further |
Can you clarify this?
Do you mean...? Is this still the main issue? |
| Restating |
1) To show you are listening and understanding the facts of the case 2) To check out meanings and interpretation |
Restate the ideas and facts |
So you would like your partner to listen more?
So what you mean is...? |
| Reflecting |
1) To show you understand the other person's feelings 2) To encourage the person to reflect back on his or her feelings |
Reflect the speaker's basic feelings |
So you felt that this questioned your position?
So you felt that it went well? |
| Summarising |
1) To review the position 2) To pull together major points 3)To prepare the ground for further discussion |
Restate ideas and feelings |
This has happened so far...
Would you agree with the statement put forward? |
| Validating | 1) To acknowledge and affirm the worthiness of the other person |
Acknowledge the value of their issues and feelings
Affirm what has been positive in their actions |
I think you have done really well in dealing with this so far. |
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